07 - When do we get new films?

07 - When do we get new films?

For years the film industry have been reusing the same ideas again and again, when will they give us something original?

The new film "Pan" has just had it's premier this week and even I can see it's just another retelling of an old story. With films like Cinderella from earlier this year and the new jungle book in the near future, it is giving people the impression that the film industry are out of ideas. There are a few ways in which they do this:

01 - Do a complete restart

This is a constant issue. It's becoming more and more popular to remake a franchise in a whole new way. They did this with films such as total recall and fantastic four. they think that changing tiny details to an idea will make it a lot better. It. Doesn't. Work. Nobody sits there and thinks that the new total recall is amazing compared to the original (to be fair, nobody thinks either of the fantastic four series are amazing). If a film is great, don't redo it. If a film is terrible, it'll probably be terrible next time round.

02 - Add pointless sequels years later

I think the best example of this is Disney. Lets look at the evidence:

Incredibles 2

Cars 3

Finding Dory

Star Wars vii

Star wars viii

Star wars ix

Need I go on? Why add to a franchise which most of your target audience barely know? It sickened me when I heard a child ask what the incredibles was. You missed your window Disney. We all grew up. 

03 - Spin off's based around minor character

Another category Disney is important to mention in. They have done this a few times with results that nobody remember. Do you remember the emperors new groove? Not everyone does, but does anyone remember Kronks new groove? I highly doubt it. Kronk was just a pointless sidekick who didn't deserve a film based around him, but he got one anyway cause disney like every opportunity in which they can gain money.

04 - The change the category of the film

Disney is here as well. They are in the middle of taking their classic animated films and turning them into live action versions. Some stick very similar to the story like Cinderella, but others like Maleficent take a different approach. Either way, people already know how it ends and quite frankly, the animated Cinderella had awesome talking mice

05 - Do what Michael Bay does

I can't stress how ridiculous I find this man. Whether they were his ideas or not, but he manages to attach his names to projects that are based off ideas that are not necessary. He managed to make four films from Transformers! A tv show my parents used to watch!! And now he is trying it with ninja turtles! This technique is something I have nicknamed "Baywolfing" in which Michael bay takes ideas that are practically dead and spins them into a new film franchise! They did the same thing with Alvin and the Chipmunks not that long ago and that went great! For some reason "Baywolfing" is the way to make films

 

So once we get through the rebooting, endless sequels and all the Baywolfing, will we get a new film idea then? I hope so! Just as long as Michael Bay doesn't direct it, I'm sure it will be fine!!

06 - Are Holidays Twisted?

06 - Are Holidays Twisted?

Everybody enjoys celebrating special occasions, however nobody seems to question the things they suggest

Yesterday I realised that summer was truly over. Someone I knew had posted on Facebook it is only 97 days till Christmas! First of all, who cares?! 97 days is a long time! I hadn't even thought about Christmas yet. Although, I started thinking more into the concept of Christmas and other special occasions. Here are some of my favourites

01 - Halloween

Let's start with a pretty obvious one. Halloween is a holiday devoted to pumping kids full of sugar and dressing them in a way which is asking for trouble. Giving kids sweets is like giving a toddler cocaine, the results are unpredictable and probably dangerous for everyone involved. The amount of sweets and chocolate as well are seriously unhealthy. They may as well call it "Day of inflicting heart disease" or "Diabetes day" to be a little catchier. The worst thing is the fact that any random stranger can give sweets to children just because they think they look good! How is that allowed? If its illegal to groom kids every other day of the year, why is acceptable on Halloween? Although, to be fair. Some people do have spectacular pumpkins

02 - Easter

This one gets me a little. Are we really teaching kids a rabbit makes us eggs? If I ever see a child holding a rabbit above their head and looking up, we can blame Easter. The biology lies to use and what happens when kids don't realise that normal eggs and Easter eggs aren't the same? It wont be long before you find some kids trying to eat raw eggs whilst cooking a chocolate egg omelette. Why eggs? They could have made them look like anything they want, but they chose Chicken foetus. Good job marketing companies.

03 - Valentines day

Okay, I think everybody knows that Valentines day is a corporate holiday which is another scam to get couples to show extra affection on days that aren't birthdays, Christmas or anniversaries. This bugs me as it is a waste of time, effort and money. If you love someone you show them all the time (Or not at all, depending on whether or not they want you or if you are a creepy stalker). What I find weird is Cupid and his "Love Arrows." What makes someone think that arrows are romantic? The idea is that if Cupid shoots you with an arrow, you fall in love. That is ridiculous. If Cupid shoots you with an arrow, you bleed and more than likely you will die. Its not hard. Nothing good comes out of being shot with an arrow.

04 - Christmas

It isn't normal. It's just wrong. An old guy. Watches your kids. All year. Decides if they are naughty or not. Breaks into your house. Leaves your kids presents. Then repeats the next year. Someone please explain why we tell our kids this is acceptable? Does this mean any time an old bloke breaks into your house the kids will think its santa? Get a grip parents. Tell kids the truth. It makes life easier.

So with that final image never going to leave your mind, I will end it there!

05 - Discoveries that baffle me

05 - Discoveries that baffle me

Some things we take for granted, but do you ever think about how we got them?

Every day we use/do things that seem completely normal to us. It was never always that way but some things are rather odd when you think about it. Here is a few examples:

01 - Milk

Possibly one of the weirdest things we take for granted, if you stop and think for a second about where milk comes from. Who honestly thought that it was a good idea? I mean, really? Who the heck thought "Hm, you know what? Those six things look like they could use a good pump!" Seriously?! Anybody who has those kind of thoughts is either mad or confused about their sexuality

02 - Eggs

I don't know if this is weirder than milk, but it is certainly pretty weird. I don't know who is hungry enough to sit there and it what comes out the rear end of an animal, although now it is a lot more normal. I think its even worse that they realised it tastes good cooked and in so many different styles! I wouldn't be surprised if its the same guy who discovered milk as it seems like his kind of territory...

03 - Meat (All of it)

Another particularly awkward one to think about, but you don't seem to think it weird to eat animals. Although there must have been a starting point. There must have been a day when someone turned around and saw a cow and thought "Oooh that looks like it would taste nice with chips." I honestly don't see how mad someone must be to even consider that, although I am a frequent meat eater myself.

04 - Sex

Sex is an intriguing one to think about as its something seen as natural, but what made them think that it was the right thing to do? You wouldn't think that a man and a woman would just fit like a jigsaw but it happened! This is something completely insane and if it felt weird the first time, how come it keeps happening with everyone?

What do you guys think? Any other things i missed?

04 - What The Hell Doctor Who???

04 - What The Hell Doctor Who?

Doctor Who returns this weekend for a new series, but what are they doing?

When the show returned in 2005, everybody loved what they had done. It was a phenomenon in 1963 and since has become increasingly popular. We can all agree the first five years were great, but since the loss of David Tennant and head writer Russel T. Davies it's all gone down hill. Who is to blame? That would be Steven Moffat. The new head writer

Yes, i'll admit he was always pretty good with the horror story lines, I still can't learn about world war two without hiding when the gas masks come along and the weeping angels scare the hell out of me, but he has completely ruined it since he took over. Let me give you some examples:

01 - Once you try to make it all scarier, it loses its effect

The one thing Moffat is good at is scary story lines. Everyone was scared by the hit episode "Blink" and many others, but when you write half a series yourself, all your ideas kind of become slightly boring. The angels were scary when you weren't expecting them, but when you use them every other series, they aren't as interesting. Yeah they can still be a little scary, but they aren't as good as they used to be. Why do you think the Reapers were never used again? One time is enough guys. Get new ideas.

02 - What's with all the rubbish monsters?

When I started watching doctor who, you had evil people who were just skin and big green aliens with an vinegar allergy, so where did the creativity go? They now have wooden dolls and snowmen. What made them think this was a good idea? Nothing is scary about snowmen!! It was obvious that they were only there for the Christmas special but seriously? They actually thought that was a good idea? Why? 

This isn't the only issue with their monsters. Everything is being brought back again and again. How many times can they use the Sontarans before we get sick of them? Plus, they screwed up big time with the Master. What happened to the crazy and complicated John Simm version? Michelle Gomez just ruined it (and that's not me being sexist!). If I have to see one more freaking lizard woman I will probably end my viewing of doctor who.

03 - The companions sicken me

Okay, so Amy was hot and Rory was pretty cool, but I can not stand Clara. She is too cheery and happy and it is so annoying. She cries all the time. The big question is she admits to fancying Doctor #11, but does she feel the same about #12? That has kept me up at night since the first time they were together. If she likes that kind of thing, then leave her to it, but everything else really annoys me. Don't even get me started on River Song. I was excited to see what happened when she appeared along side David Tennant, but it bored me towards the end. The whole meeting each other in different orders gets old really quickly and then they get married!? If I have to hear the word "Spoilers" again I will batter her until she "Spoils" in her pants.

04 - Do they not know how to have original ideas?

Its becoming a constant within doctor who to now use mythological creatures as substitutes for real bad guys. The yeti was years ago, but the minotaur and vampires in recent years are absolutely terrible. Why can't they put some thought into their ideas before doing things that have already been done by practically every major tv show in history. If you are really out of ideas then cut your losses and finish it already! Everyone would be so much happier

05 - Everybody misses David Tennant

He is possibly one of the most loved doctors to ever grace the screens. Everyone thought his episodes were spectacular and I don't know a single fan who didn't tear up when he left. His companions were all perfect. His villains were a loveable rogue gallery and he was amazing. I feel bad for Matt Smith for having to follow him, but nobody would ever have been happy with any replacement. His return in the 50th anniversary reminded fans of why he was truly loved.

So do you agree? Is Doctor who as good as ever, or should he possibly try exploring a retirement home for a few years? You decide and post in the comments!

03 - The Greek Alphabet

03 - The Greek Alphabet

Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Omega. That's about all people tend to know about the greek alphabet!

When you think of the greek alphabet, its very unlikely a person will be able to name any more than the four letters listed above! When I lay awake last night, I tried to list as many letters as I could. Those were the four that I knew, but Sigma and Theta popped into my mind as well (The joys of GCSE maths) but that's all I could remember.

We all know the English alphabet (Hopefully) for those of you who need reminding, it's:

1. A  2. B  3. C  4. D  5. E  6. F  7. G  8. H  9. I  10. J  11. K  12. L  13. M  14. N

15. O  16. P  17. Q  18. R  19. S  20. T  21. U  22, V  23. W  24. X  25. Y  26. Z

So that much we know, but what about the greek alphabet? I tried coming up with a list of all 26, but in the end, google seemed like a quicker option. Below is the greek alphabet as it should look

Now, its pretty clear I was never going to be able to guess the entire alphabet. It probably wasn't helped by the fact there is only 24 letters and I was aiming for 26! Plus half of them make no sense! I get Alpha and Beta, but Phi, Chi and Psi are ridiculous! Plus could someone explain why Zeta (Which im assuming is the Z equivalent) is the sixth letter? I honestly have no idea how our language stemmed from this in any way possible

What do you think? Am I making valid points, or am I crazy?? Comment and decide!

- Mr. Phosphene

02 - Hawkeye is not useless

02 - Hawkeye is not useless

The Sharpshooting avenger is often neglected and forgotten about, but is he really as bad as they say?

Clint Barton, AKA Hawkeye, goes down in history as one of the greatest avengers in marvel comics. However, when Marvel adapted Hawkeye into a hero for their films, he was not accepted by many fans. With the release of the new Age of Ultron released this week, I believe it is only fitting that I used this time to try to persuade a few more people to join Team: Barton.

1 - He is an incredibly sharp-shooter

I don't know if you realised, but Hawkeye is a pretty good shot. I mean, how else would he be able to stand along side the Avengers? Yeah he chooses a bow and arrow, but he has stated before "Anything can be a weapon in my hands" which is true. As well as being possibly the greatest pilot in avengers history, he has proven that he is also capable of wielding swords, guns, lamps, darts and is also one of the few people that can effectively use Captain America's shield

2 - He kicks ass!

There's no better way to put it! Hawkeye seriously kicks ass! He is a master of hand to hand combat, went through extensive shield training and spent most of his younger life training in acrobatics in a circus. There a very few people on the planet that can match his skills (although when you stand along side a giant green beast, a super soldier and Thor, its not as obvious) and simply put, he does kick ass!!

3 - His dress sense is awesome!

Yes, he may have been through more costume changes than hulk has shirts, but you can't deny they are pretty awesome! From his original purple suit and cowl to the simplistic purple t-shirt he wears now, he has never disappointed with his unique look. Even when he had identity issues and re-branded himself as Goliath or Ronin, he still looked pretty cool!!!

4 - He puts Loki to shame with his tricks

You know that you are good at pranks when the trickster god doesn't see it coming. His extensive collection of trick arrows impress some of the most difficult foes. You have the commonly known electrified and explosive, which fans loved in the film, but there are a good few lesser known ones like the putty arrow and my all time favourite, the boomerang arrow (Which really does come back round)

5 - He has a great sense of humour

Of all the marvel heroes, Hawkeye is probably third on the ranking of humorous heroes (Behind deadpool and spiderman) and it really shows. He brightens up the avengers many dangerous and gloomy missions by throwing a few quips in every now and then. Not only that, but he is no stranger to being put in hilarious situations and being the topic of a insulting joke. It's a super power to be able to not take some of them to heart.

6 - He gets on with all his team mates

Compared to some avengers, Hawkeye is a likeable character. He's got a good sense of humour, he's caring and always looks out for his team. He may have a temper at times, but don't we all? There a few key friendships that stick out in Hawkeye's life, such as Black Widow, Captain America, Mockingbird and Kate Bishop (The girl Hawkeye)

7 - He's only human

What most people seem to forget, Hawkeye is just a human being. He isn't a god, he can't turn into a huge beast and there isn't super soldier serum running through his veins. Even though he is human, does that ever stop him? He stand alongside these omnipotent team mates with his bow and arrow and doesn't back down against any threats. Whether he's facing Thanos or Batroc the leaper, he always puts all his effort in and does everything to protect his team. Even though he tends to come out of it in a bad shape on occasions

So what do you think? Have I persuaded you that Hawkeye isn't useless? If so, hooray! If not, then read it again and again until you agree!! Please leave comments so I can hear your views!!

01 - Why Phosphenes?

01 - Why Phosphenes?

Phosphenes are the technical term for the lights you see when you close your eyes. They are light that appear when there is no light in your eye. When your eyes are pressed with your eyelids closed, the light you see then is a prime example of a phosphene

So why use it for a name?

Phosphene Blogs is about things that you think about without really really thinking. The things that pester you when you lie awake at night thinking "Why can't i breathe underwater?" or "What is the difference between coke and pepsi?" These questions have crossed my mind too. That is why I decided to write my conclusions, along with a lot of other stuff, here for anyone to see.

If everyone else has these questions, what makes me certain I am able to answer them? 

 

Now that is simple, i'm not. I am just as clueless as the rest of you, but there are things that I believe should be expressed online! There are things that probably shouldn't be expressed either, but who cares!! I highly doubt many people will read this anyway!!

So enjoy! Or don't! But on the brightside at least you now know what a phosphene is!!

- Mr Phosphene